I was rewatching the finale from Season 4 and there was this part where Blair said that being happy wasn’t the most important thing, that people don’t write sonnets about being compatible or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. I quote Blair when she said, the great loves are the crazy ones. But lately I guess she let go of that belief. People say that Dair have this chemistry (that I don’t see) because of their compatibility and shared life goals and stimulating conversations. I just don’t see it. I don’t see the epicness (excuse me for making up some word) of their romance. I don’t see nor feel the greatness that Chuck and Blair’s love had. I believe what Blair said, that great loves are crazy ones, those worth fighting for. For me, Dair is just… safe. I’m voicing out my opinion here, because I was less satisfied by the episode that transpired before me last Monday. I thought that maybe over time I would be converted to the Dair fandom as so many Chair shippers have, but I haven’t, and I don’t think I ever will. Chuck and Blair just have to end up together one way or another, Gossip Girl wouldn’t be Gossip Girl without their love. Dair, as I’ve reiterated before and will reiterate once more, is an amazing friendship, it even reminds me of me and my guy best friend, but that is just it. I know that Chuck is dealing with other stuff right now (that Diana bombshell, foreseen, yet to put yourself in Chuck’s shoes must be hard to digest), but I trust, believe, or whatever that the world will fall back in place when Chuck and Blair end up together. This Blair is just not Blair. She’s not that powerful woman she once was. She’s this weakling now. I just know and hope that the Blair that I love, and everyone loves, will return once she is with who she’s supposed to be with. :)

Dreams are amazing, yet the worst part of dreams is the fact that a few moments right after you wake up, you forget most of what you’ve dreamt. I dreamt last night about swimming, and meeting a cute boy, who was perfect in every sense, who I kind of fell for. He had a name in my dream, yet at the first moments of awakening this morning, I completely forgot his name. In that dream, the sensation felt so real, not the sensation of swimming around or something, but that sensation you’d only feel with a person you had feelings for - that sensation I felt once for this guy that forgot about me. The whole day then, I spent my time missing that sensation, missing that feeling of my heart pounding harder than it used to, of my cheeks reddening without my control, of my smile forming for no particular reason. I miss that feeling of being in love. I know I should be over that guy that left me, but I’m still not and as much as I try to get over him, I just can’t. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Damn this dream for making me remember. Damn every little detail of my life that reminds me of him. I’m not going to get over him any time soon, but I do hope to survive life even though he is still on my mind. On a positive note, I do believe that dreams mean something. I don’t think that dream told me to go back to my wishful thinking that one day that guy would eventually come back to me. I think that my dream is telling me that my heart will beat like that again. My cheeks cheeks will one day redden that rosy blush, and my smile would pop out out of nowhere. Some day, I’ll move on. Some day, I’ll find someone else, and someday, my heart will beat for him.